First Draft – The story

The original story

Title: Soul Food 

Beginning: The story starts by adding a piece of bread to a toaster.

Middle: The bread goes in and sees nothing for a few seconds but hears wind and strange sounds going past him. The bread then opens his eyes and realises he is falling down, down, down into a dark abyss. He hears and sees different instruments until he falls onto (into?) a grand piano. Piano starts playing music from different genres and the toast reacts by dancing, or crying or clapping hands. In exactly the middle of the toast’s time inside, the “camera” shows the person waiting for the toast, tapping fingers, trying to make the toast go faster. The bread starts to realise he is getting browner and quickly chooses a Jazz piece…

End: …before he is plucked up and away, quickly buttered and eaten. In the end the it just shows the toaster, and a little cello pops out. 

FEEDBACK

Soul Food = not the best idea.

DISLIKES

  • force music into story.
  • have instruments inside toaster

LIKES

  • the concept- something else happening inside a toaster, not what humans expect.
  • the toast is quickly buttered and gobbled up in the end – human truth, everybody is hasty when making breakfast,  audience expects it to happen.
  • the bread gets slowly browner throughout the story – secondary idea.

NEW IDEAS

  • while the toast is falling, elevator music.
  • the real tension is actually between the toast and the person making the toast.
  • the toast is kind of “super cool” toast, it saves the damsel in distress, tans on a beach, gets it’s hair done, visits an african tribe, flies a kite, runs away for huge bread birds, eats cake with Paul Kruger, swims with a dolphin…
  • maybe the toast can fall in love with a bun?
  • new name ideas?

QUESTIONS

  • Will the new world be made entirely out of toast/other foods/not made of toast?

 

NEW STORY

Title: not there yet

Beginning: Toast is quickly and quietly put into the toaster. The timer is turned and the toast starts falling down.

Middle: Toast falls a small while and lands on a beach. The toast is kind of “super cool” toast and has an attitude. The bread tans a small while and gets a little browner before walking away and hears a gingerbread man drowning and saves him, gets a little more brown. He runs further on the beach and takes a turn onto an open square and meets the Queen/Paul Kruger for tea. He sees cucumber sandwiches and is really offended and walks away into an elevator. Elevator music starts to play and the bread kind of starts “tapping it’s foot” on the beat. The scene then flashes back to the person waiting for toast, tapping fingers. Back to the toast, music has now increased and it’s doing a more intense dance. The person is shown again, now holding a knife and getting frustrated with the bread. Show the timer, now halfway done. The elevator doors open and there is a whole crowd of buns screaming and raving over him,  he then sees one specific roll, and is in love (even though it looks exactly the same as all of the rest of the rolls).  

O.K. now I’m unsure? just an idea- They kiss and there is a bite out of the slice of bread? The bread and the roll then gets married, and they have small bread children? or go for a drink? a slice of cake? visit a Zulu tribe who runs after them because they want to eat the bread?

The slice of toast is way browner by now and continuously gets browner as time goes on.

End: He is plucked up and away, quickly buttered and eaten. The eater doesn’t even realise there is a small bite out of the bread.

Conflict: Between person and toast, person is hasty and seriously wants the toast to toast quicker.

 

ADVICE FOR EVERYBODY

  • think out of the box.
  • try to think of different contexts.
  • a lot of research,.
  • think for yourself.
  • “Everything is always fixable”.
  • look with meaning, deeper – understand.
  • read with the intention of seeing story unfolding in front of you.
  • act things out , understand it, apply it, play, and test things.
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